I don't know, it's a mystery

So here's the story. About three months ago, I started having these weird pins and needles, as though my foot had fallen asleep. Except it was in my hands and legs, and would happen while I was just going about my business, sometimes for hours at a time. I thought, hmm, that's weird. It lasted for three days, and then seemed to go away. I chalked it up as one of those things.

Then a few weeks later, it happened again, and worse this time. There was a nerve down the front of my right leg that felt... irritated. Sore. Like sciatica, but in the front. And the prickling and pins and needles continued. I called my regular doctor, just because it was so weird, so unlike anything I'd ever experienced. She referred me to a neurologist. I thought for sure it would go away by the time I had the appointment and I would feel like an idiot. But it didn't.

So I went to see the neurologist, Dr. H, and she was very warm and reassuring. She checked me for things like Babinski's reflex, which is a sign of MS, and all of that checked out fine. She said it was unlikely to be anything serious, but she'd get copies of my recent bloodwork from the general doctor, and ordered an EMG, to rule out nerve damage. She warned me that it would be uncomfortable. Ha. Ha ha ha.

So a week or two later I had my EMG. Um, uncomfortable? Try, traumatic. It was awful. Truly, horribly awful. But at my follow-up two weeks later, she told me the good news was, I did not have any nerve damage, the EMG was completely normal. Great! So what the heck is going on here?? Since my symptoms were continuing, we went ahead with the next round of testing -- a ton of blood work and an EEG.

The EEG was a blast compared to the damn nerve test. I actually fell asleep, it was so relaxing. The hyperventilation part was not fun, but other than that is was a cakewalk. As I waited for my next follow-up, the pins and needles crap was getting worse, I was tired of not having answers, and I was getting ready to go in there and demand an MRI just so that I would stop keeping myself up at night worrying about a brain tumor or something.

So I was really pretty surprised when the first thing Dr. H said was "Your EEG was abnormal." Um, say what? Who you callin' abnormal? Of course I was too dazed to get details, so I have no idea what part of it was abnormal or what kind of abnormal it was (making internet research utterly useless, damn!). She just said we could rule out a brain tumor and some other nasty-sounding stuff, and that was reassuring. But she said we can't rule out seizures or epilepsy, or some kind of post-infection inflammation. Seizures?? I've never had a seizure in my life, what the hell? Except that that's what my EEG looks like, apparently. Wacko.

So over the next few weeks I have a few more fun tests to embark on. Over the weekend, I get to collect 24 hours of urine in a jug the size of a wine barrel. Rather optimistic about my output, I must say. Then Monday I have my brain MRI (with and without contrast, which apparently means I get to have some kind of a stingy shot at some point in the process). And next weekend -- ahh, the piece de resistance -- I get to have a 72-hour EEG. Which means they will stick something like 30 electrodes on my head, the wires will dangle down like fetching hair extensions (Dr. H cheerfully asserted, "you'll look like an alien!" like that was a major bonus), and be connected to a Walkman-like thing I will wear on my person. I cannot shower, take a bath, or, obviously, wash my hair. Of course, my hair currently is a thick mane that goes halfway down my back. I simply cannot see dealing with 3 days of unwashed mane *along* with the 30 or so wires, in the middle of June. Um, no thank you. So Saturday I'm getting the locks chopped off in preparation. It was probably time anyway. I have a feeling there's some days I'm looking a bit like an alien even without the wires.