It's just nerves, honey...

Friday, February 16, 2007

Please remain calm

It is taking all of my energy to not freak out. I have an appointment with my neurologist on Monday. Nothing that is happening is life-threatening. Don't catastrophize. Just take a deep breath and try to accept that this is the new normal.

My whole right side is numb. Not totally completely where-the-hell-did-my-limbs-go numb, just like someone dialed down the sensitivity of all my nerves on the right side. Like instead of a clear radio signal of "itch!" and "pressure!" and "cold!", there's just a lot of static. I can still *feel* stuff, just like you can still *hear* your friend talking when you have a tea party on the bottom of the pool. My nerves are just dialed down to a really low volume, and kinda garbled.

Just the right side. Arm, leg, right side of my torso, and right side of my face. This is the third time this has happened in the past week. It is the firmest evidence I have so far that the source of this is in my brain. You could draw a line down the middle of my body: left side normal, right side not. I'm gonna bet that if I had a do-it-yourself-home-MRI machine, I could see something funky happening on the left side of my brain.

And then, it its latest attempt at guerilla scare-tactics, my body decided to throw me a new one right at the beginning of my "Major Works of Shakespeare" discussion section today: double vision. So bad that I couldn't read the handout she passed out at the beginning of class, and trying to get the lines of text in my book to behave was making me start to feel nauseated. With a lot of effort and concentration, I got my eyes to line up again, enough to get through the class. Enough that I can pretty much read what I am typing now. Enough that I can proofread the massive amount of typing errors I'm making right now due to the partial numbness of my right hand. But it's still kinda blurry.

I refuse to be scared. Being scared isn't going to help anything. It is what it is. If I frantically call my neurologist right now, what is that going to solve? She's not going to be able to tell me anything over the phone, and she's not going to be able to see me before Monday anyway. Time to sit tight, focus on the Statistics quiz I'm going to have to take in about 40 minutes, and above all, remain calm.

My nerves are frazzled enough as it is. Ha. Haha.


  • Kajoli says
    Keep up the great attitude Laura - I am so glad that you are meeting your neurologist soon !
    Mind over matter

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:38 PM  

  • What a scary situation! Glad Monday's not too far away... BTW, I like your blog!!

    By Blogger sarahandscottsmommy, at 2:43 PM  

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